What a week :(

This week has been a quite sad week for me and the rats. Early new years eve morning i found one of my rats Zero had died. He had been a little chesty but his lungs sounded better and when i fed them they were all fine, but a few hours later i found him dead on the bottom of the cage :(

Then on Tuesday I lost another rat, Indy. Indy had been quite poorly with her lungs too and antibiotics were not helping her, she had an appointment to go to the vets Wednesday (yesterday) but sadly passed away on tuesday night. The only positive from this is that she slipped away while i was holding her, in her home. And she isnt suffering anymore. I think she would of fought a little harder if her sister Delahaye was still alive, she missed her a great deal.

Today i was still at the vet as i was taking Diva. Diva had a huge lump under her front leg, which has started growing quite quickly in the last couple of weeks and was starting to get sore. Sadly due to the location (it was joined after her elbow) removal would of been nearly impossible. I made the hard choice to have her put to sleep. I could of waited until the lump got more ulcerated but i didnt think this was fair and i didnt know just how sore it was for her already.
I would rather put one of my pets to sleep early than late, while life is still enjoyable for them. Euthanasia although the kindest thing, does overwhelm me as deciding whether to give the go ahead to end life is a big responsibility. I often wonder whether i should of tried this or that but i know that its often not fair when the end is near to try and clutch on at the animals expense. I have myself hung on longer than i should to pets trying to extend their lives, and both ended up miserable and i feel guilty for that.
Don't get me wrong , if there is a way to save and give good quality of life i give it every shot. But only for them and not for me.
Although there is that sadness at the end of a beloved pets lif, remembering the joyful times is a way i ease the pain a little, before i leave the vets i always have a little think and a talk about the good times. It doesn't stop it hurting but it helps a little until i can get home and think over my feelings.
It isn't only me that grieves for them either, the rats grieve over a loved friend. Lola has seen many friends come and go and she goes around with a sad look on her face when she realises that someone is missing.

RIP Zero, Indy and Diva, play hard at the bridge x